Why do we even have that lever

 Hey, All,

Things are stable here. Still staying inside. My sister's arm is doing much better, so that's something that will hopefully resolve itself. I think my parents are getting more nervous, now, and at some point soon may cut down to the absolute barebones office staff. I wish my dad didn't have to go in at all, but there's not much I can do about that. He sounds a little frazzled. They've been taking walks every day with the dogs at a distance with some of their neighbors, which is hopefully helping.

Spoke with J about apt, and we're still at something of an impasse. They offered to return my April rent with no ongoing charge if I leave the bed and couch, but my mom thinks that is deeply unfair (and frankly, my parents own the bed, so it isn't up to me either way). The bed is worth a lot more than a month's rent. Part of the issue is definitely that what D told me about the risk at the apt, and what she's likely telling them about the situation, are very different, and make a pretty big difference in terms of livability there. I don't want to ruin her bday weekend, but at this point, I've sort of been pushed into a corner. I think I'm going to just tell J that our parents should just speak to each other to resolve this, since it seems like 1) some of the initial misunderstandings came from their interactions, which aren't helped by filtering things through me and J and 2) they ultimately both are making the final call anyway. I think we're both at a place where we want to preserve our relationship. I don't want my parents to be more stressed, but I also think they could probably resolve this in one conversation whereas J and I have to go back and forth and it's very awkward. I'm not going to have a choice but to tell her that she doesn't have all the information, though. 

I got the Apple TV here, so I've started trying to do an exercise video of some sort a day. Not exactly doing the best at it, but going to keep trying. 

What I ate: Had some wine last night, and will probably drink again tonight for D's bday zoom call, which can be not great for my sleep but is a nice break in the day. Sticking with the weekend-only drinking, though. I'm looking forward to getting tipsy and ridiculous dancing around my apt to Hozier, which I've been super in the mood to listen to recently. Think that's a good way to continue to moderate. I have my food delivery coming, and have been eating that (today is a thai chickpea and sweet potato thing, and some sort of garden quinoa thing for later), but I've also been still just wanting to eat the Vegan Amy's Mac and Cheese, which is probably just a comfort thing. Rice and kimchi have also been a solid comfort food. I'm finishing up my cereals before next week.

Passover starts on Wednesday, and I'm going to try to keep it the way I usually do (I still eat legumes, beans, rice, corn, but don't eat any bread or wheat products that aren't parve). Interesting that our own pandemic falls over the story of a whole bunch of other plagues. I'm sure there's something interesting to be processed there. It does feel like the time to be connected to our families and our pasts, whatever they may be.

Until next time,
F

 Hey, All!

I should really be updating this more often than every five days or so, but honestly not THAT much changes day to day (shocker!). Only worked an hour this past weekend, which was a huge relief after going for two weeks straight without a break. Always a fire to put out here, but I'm trying to better guard my on and off times purely for my own sanity. 

I've been finding I am strangely suited to staying in and living alone (with my two cats). I think people are really struggling with this, but I've honestly been really training in ways to deal with anxiety for a very long time, plus it helps that I'm genuinely an introvert and I really don't actually mind being alone. I think, when I first moved to the city, I knew that about myself (especially my tendency to self-isolate), which is why I chose to live with roommates. Also because I didn't have much of a network here, yet. That has very much changed -- I have excellent colleagues, a lot of friends, and feel very comfortable. So I've been speaking with my family about this and have pretty much decided I'll be taking over the lease at my sister's place, now that she's really permanently decided to live in FL. I think I'm going to be really happy living alone again. I still have to tell my roommates and I'm not really sure how that conversation is going to go, but J and I had an initial conversation about it last week, so it won't come totally out of nowhere. Plus, she knows that like most people, my parents aren't taking in anywhere near the income they normally do (both bc of this and bc of work stuff that had been happening for about 6 months already) and that's a factor. I think it's probably time, but there's a few logistical things that are going to be a bit of a nightmare.

I'm running out of cat food, and my replacement hasn't shipped yet from Chewy. My parents shipped me some themselves, but it won't get here till Thursday. I'm hoping I'll get the Chewy package in the next two days, but I'll probably have to run out and grab some tuna and/or eggs to give them to holdover between (they throw up a lot of foods, so they need simple). 

Also, I got an Apple tv to hook up here so I can watch both my Great Courses Plus classes (may as well learn some stuff!) and some of the Peloton exercise classes on the actual tv, so I can start working out again. It's supposed to get here Wednesday.

What I'm watching:

Agatha Raisin: Seasons 2 and 3. Finished both of these seasons! Definitely a fun ride. Glad they've sort of phased out James -- Charles is a much more fun character. James was kind of lame. Definitely worth a watch if you want a lighthearted detective series. 

Birds of Prey: Absolutely loved this one. I bought it as an early digital release, and it was a wonderful, fun ride. Also, our apt building is in it! I am all about really fun, women-led action movies. Or really, any genre movies with mostly-to-entirely female casts. We really need more of these.

Iron Man: I've started doing a low key MCU rewatch and started the first one last night. It's still a solid movie, although honestly the one thing that is SO CLEAR in retrospect is that Christine Everhart is a total badass reporter who actually really did everything right. She's basically the whole impetus for Tony Stark to go rogue fixing things, informs him of what's going on in his company when he isn't paying attention, and pushes him to tell people his identity. Justice for Christine, ya'll.

Spiderman Ultimate: Season 3. Going along with Marvel rewatches, the animated Marvel shows in the last few years have all actually been really fantastic. They're funny and clever, and really comforting. All of them are basically on Disney Plus now. 

What I'm Reading:

Crocodile on the Sandbank by Elizabeth Peters: Finished this one. It's definitely a cute one, but dated in the sense that there is absolutely some real backwards, racist shit in it about cultures in Egypt. This is a whole series, and I have no idea if that's something that goes away or not.

 So...as I mentioned in the previous post, I actually ended up home as a result of getting a regular cold starting basically Feb 29th, so while everyone else is entering their first weeks of self-quarantine/physical isolation, I'm actually on day 21 (with about one or two days in between where I was better but roomie was not yet sick).

I'm actually doing ok -- my natural inclination is to be a homebody, so it's helpful to frame this experience as something I might otherwise choose. But I also want to keep a journal here of what it's been like so far, and what it's like daily, so that hopefully when I look back on this experience I'll remember what I was thinking, feeling, and experiencing during this truly bizarre time. 

I read a LOT during those first few weeks. Unusually, it was primarily actual written books and not fic, which for whatever reason I haven't been using as much. I think that's primarily because my work is now done remotely, by computer, and at a certain point in the day, I've just had enough of screen time. So here we go:

Books I've read so far/Am currently reading:

An Instance of the Fingerpost by Iain Pears: this one was very well-written, and a pretty hefty book, coming in at around 700 pages. It's a mystery novel in four parts, each with a different narrator that circles back on the same series of events, which centers on the murder of an Oxford professor in the 1660s during the turmoil following years of civil war. The mystery definitely pays off and there's a lot of cool historical detail if you are interested in English history, so I absolutely would recommend it with one caveat: it was deeply frustrating to read as a woman, as all four narrators are men with generally shitty (though historically accurate) views on women. If you can stomach that, go for it. If not, probably best to avoid.

Chasing New Horizons: Inside the Epic First Mission to Pluto by Alan Stern and David Grinspoon: This one I listened to. It was a really interesting description of how the New Horizons project, which gave us those really cool photos of Pluto in 2015, got off the ground, and the various challenges and successes of the project as it went. It was very interview-style, with the authors chiming in with their thoughts on what was going on at different times, along with the greater arc of the project as a whole. A cool one if you like space exploration.

Getting It Done: How to Lead When You're Not in Charge by Roger Fisher and Alan Sharp: I've read other books on alternative dispute resolution and negotiation from these authors when I was in law school taking classes on ADR and arbitration. This is a quick one that goes into the basics of leading from the bottom. More of a generalist approach. For those interested in the topic, Getting to Yes by Roger Fisher and William Ury is probably the best starting point.

Blood Price by Tanya Huff: In the beginning days of my being home, I rewatched the two seasons of Blood Ties that originally aired on Lifetime, I think, back in 2007. It's a pretty cheesy series that for whatever reason was exactly what I needed in terms of content as this whole thing started to kick off (it's currently included on Amazon Prime). I went ahead and bought the book series and read the first one. The first book basically covers the first episode. I have the other four (as well as the sequel series that follows an LGBT street kid named Tony who shows up as an informant in the book series). It was pretty fun, and I plan to read the next ones.

Deep Work: Rules for Focused Success in a Distracted World by Cal Newport: this one was pretty much about how people can focus better by resolving/avoiding distraction (for example, not answering emails during certain hours, becoming "unreachable" for set time periods, etc). Nothing particularly groundbreaking, but still pretty good. 

Spiritwalk by Charles de Lint: de Lint is one of my all-time favorite authors. He writes wonderful magical realist fiction with a folk and fairytale tinge, set mostly in Canada. This book is a sequel to Moonheart, about a group of people who live in a sprawling magical house called Tamson House in Ottawa, and their connections with other worlds. That book was one of my favorites. This one was also really good, though I didn't like it quite as much as the original. It's less a novel as two short stories and a novella that are all interconnected. Still highly recommended. I've also bought the second book in his Newport series, which starts with Dreams Underfoot (a collection of short stories with a similar folk magic theme). I've always read his short stories sporadically, but never read them all, along with the novels, in order, so I figured why not now? The second book is called Memory and Dream. 

Anyhow, I plan to keep on going with the reading, while I continue to do my day-to-day job. Everything has moved to remote work, so right now we are really working on making sure our immigrant families in the city are getting what they need to survive (both in terms of finances and in terms of accurate, up-to-date information on what's happening on the ground here with Covid).

How I'm feeling today: A little tired, a little overwhelmed. Mostly in good spirits. Struggling a little to keep some of the work we're doing floating, and attempting to get a handle on how to stay involved in everything I'm supposed to be involved in. 
How I slept last night: Not the best. First night the cats have been in my sister's place, and they were a little freaked out, so there was a fair amount of crying and jumping on my head. Also had a pretty late phone call with J, to talk about rent and the roommate situation in general (mixing good friends and landlords inevitably causes these kinds of awkward situations), which was productive but also not an easy conversation even in the best of times, so I was a little too wired to really pass out quickly. Didn't get to sleep until closer to 1ish. 
What's different today than yesterday: Cases have been, as expected, shooting up exponentially. We're at about 4K now in NYC, and that is no doubt going to go up substantially as we people from the last few weeks start having symptoms. Most people are now staying home, and tons of places are completely shut down, with the exception of the necessaries. Cuomo is dragging his feet on a shelter-in-place order. Hospitals are already running out of supplies here. Mortgages are frozen, evictions are banned. Groceries, amazon and other deliveries, and restaurant delivery and takeout are still going strong. Most buildings here are now not allowing delivery folks past the front lobby, so everyone has to go down and do pickups themselves. I got stuck in an elevator in my regular building two weeks ago, and the ones in this building are sketchy, so I'm going to take the stairs from now on (only 6 floors here, and honestly, I could use the exercise).
What did I eat today: So far just some Pringles and half a tofu breakfast sandwich from Orchard Grocer. My appetite is still pretty much non-existent. All I ate yesterday was some beans and rice soup, some pringles, and a bowl of cinnamon toast crunch at around 4:30ish. Felt not great this morning until I realized I hadn't eaten anything since then. Slow and steady, but I'm going to keep trying! A weird thing for me, as generally I've always been a stress eater, but hey. I guess everything's different right now, even that.

Weird thought I had/realized: I was thinking about how women in WWII wore red lipstick in part as a way of keeping morale up, and realized when I packed to come here I didn't even think to bring my makeup. I wear makeup every single day, normally, and almost never go out without it. I haven't worn any at all since I started staying in. Just another small way things are different.

Until next time,
F

Light it up (3489 words) by inanhourofdreaming
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: MacGyver (TV 2016), X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies)
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Jack Dalton/Angus MacGyver (MacGyver TV 2016)
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe, Crossover
Summary:

Wherein Mac has Alex Summer's powers but he still learns to blow things up the regular way.

In the beginning there was (2609 words) by inanhourofdreaming
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: MacGyver (TV 2016)
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Jack Dalton/Angus MacGyver (MacGyver TV 2016)
Summary:

One way Jack and MacGyver could have met.

Army-era. AU-ish.

Ya'll, real life takes up a LOT of time.

I have a mostly finished short little 00Q story sitting on my phone I should finish but that I haven't really looked at in at least a week.

Next week is a big work event in Albany, which means a 3ish hour bus ride, a night in a hotel, and, y'know, two days of winter in Albany. I'm still pretty much not drinking this month but it's not my favorite time. Still, it's good to do this once in a while, and since I'm trying to build up healthier habits generally, I'm going to keep at it. I've also started doing Noom, that health app that has been aggressively marketing itself to me on various social media sites. I actually really like it -- it's visually appealing and relies on making small changes gradually. I'm normally a bit on the extremist side (it's much easier for me to give things up altogether than to moderate, believe it or not), so this is a new thing but maybe more sustainable? We'll see. I don't actually much care about weight anymore, but I'd like to fit into all my clothes bc I can't really afford to buy all new ones. I'm aiming more for health because I'd like to age well (in the sense of not having a bunch of health problems I could have prevented with healthier habits) and I'm getting to be the age where that shit has started to matter in the long run.

Things I've Read (Instead of Doing ANY Writing):

Seanan McGuire's Wayward Children Series:
Every Heart a Doorway
Down Among the Sticks and Bones
Beneath the Sugar Sky
In an Absent Dream

HIGHLY recommend the first two. The books follow children who, like Alice, opened a door into a different world, only they didn't mean to come back. The main character in the first book, Nancy, went to a hall of the dead and left because the Lord of the Dead needed her to be sure she wanted to stay. The story takes place at Eleanor West's Home for Wayward Children, where children go when they return from these other worlds. The second book is the prequel of two characters from the first book, and takes place in their chosen world. The third was good, but different (less digging into any particular world and more kids going on an adventure, which was fine, but I was less into it). I've just started the fourth, which is a return to the style of the first two books.

They are all short, and absolutely lovely. If you like a good fairytale, you should try these.

I swear that I USED to remember shorthand all the ways to link and tag and insert things into LJ but wow have I forgotten all of them. I need to take a little time to look that all up again and make a quick-hand reference sheet or something.

Anyhow -- my apartment remains occupied, as it has been this entire vacation, so I suppose there went my chance at genuine aloneness. I read a bunch this week however. Here's a short rundown:

The Watchmaker of Filligree Street by Natasha Pulley: You guys, I CANNOT tell you how wonderful I found this book. I bought it a year and a half ago on a visit to a friend in DC but was never in the mood to read it. I finally picked it up this past week and it was exactly what I needed. It's a lovely late-19th century story about a man, Thaniel, who works as a telegrapher in the midst of the Clan na Gael bombings whose life is saved by a pocket watch that appeared in his room. He goes to investigate and meets the watchmaker, Keita Mori. It's delightful and subtle and absolutely surprised me with canon romance when I thought I was just reading subtext. I highly recommend it.

Brideshead Revisited by Evelyn Vaughn: This one is a classic, but one I'd never actually read despite my deep love of both the stories that take place at British universities and British novels in general. I can't believe I'd missed it. So first off, I embarrassingly didn't realize Evelyn Waugh was a man. Ridiculous, but OK. Ultimately the writing was beautiful but I also could have done with a much longer Oxford youth part and significantly less of the lesson these books always seem to end with -- basically, that everything decays and everyone ends up kind of sad and past their glory days learning to live broken lives. Have none of these authors met older people who've actually enjoyed their lives and figured themselves out? Plus, of course, our lovely Julia being shoe-horned in as a romantic interest at the end to make the book less overtly gay. Still, this one is a classic, and very worth reading.

The Uncommon Reader by Alan Bennett: This one is more a novella. A cute little thing about the Queen learning to get into reading. This was nice but nothing really special. If you want something short and cute about a woman learning to love books, it's not a bad way to go.

I'm also part of the way through Dorothy Sayers' Gaudy Night, which I've been picking up and putting down.

In addition, I watched Paddington and Paddington 2, which were both honestly as lovely as everyone has been saying. Beautifully done, sweet, funny, and with a great message.

Finally, I rewatched Skyfall and Spectre and got SUPER stuck on thinking about Q as ace and Bond as someone who is so used to using sex as a weapon or a manipulation that he doesn't equate it with any kind of real intimacy. There's something interesting happening there I'd like to play around with -- I could see Bond knowing he's going to honeypot his way in and out of cases and maybe enjoying sex as a purely physical thing, but he's got to be so fucked up in the head about intimacy given what he does for a living. And the only real lasting relationship he could have and still be 007 is someone who genuinely wouldn't care if he was sleeping with other people on the regular. So maybe he needs that constancy more than he needs anything else. And I just see that being such a cool dynamic. Both people who measure relationships and what they mean differently than other people do, just as a necessity, and how they'd fit together.

How were your holidays?

I do not know why, but my brain has fixated on Damien and The Fall, and instead of a serious, dramatic story, I came up with this piece of nonsense. Of course I'm choosing to write a pairing that only has one other story on AO3 that I didn't write, and that story is in Chinese.

Really, the only thing you need to know to read this is that Tom Anderson (Colin Morgan) is a detective sergeant in Belfast, and Damien (Bradley James) is the antichrist.

Here it is, at AO3

SO instead of, IDK, working on the crossover I've BEEN working on, instead I wrote this other crossover of Bradley James and Colin Morgan's characters from Damien and The Fall. I've had some wine, it's my first night of holiday, IDK. I give you DS Tom Anderson and Damien Thorn:

Let slip the dogs of war

Whew. So! I finished my data collection project at work and it turned out masterful (I have ZERO data collection experience but honestly last year's bit couldn't have been worse).

I also finished reading Jane Doe last night, which was a quick read and deeply satisfying in very specific ways. If you want to read a story with a woman who has zero shame, this is a really good one. It's the story of a sociopath who plots to ruin the life of the man who caused her best friend to commit suicide. The ending was a little rushed, and somewhat less satisfying than I would have liked, but I really liked Jane as a character and it's definitely worth reading for that alone


Also, I'm drinking wine and watching old episodes of Merlin. I've gotten to the Poison Chalice and it is THE BEST EPISODE.

1) Arthur's deep satisfaction in Merlin's feather hat is wonderful. EYEBROWS.
2) Arthur going to drink and realizing the toast isn't finished yet is absolutely me every time.
3) Arthur's desire to be like, "my fucking manservant is an idiot, dad, but please don't kill him" every other episode is delightful.
4) Merlin very intentionally turning to stare deeply into Arthur's eyes as he drinks his poison wine is so on brand.
5) Arthur ready to charge off to find Merlin a little yellow flower because Merlin has earned his undying loyalty in like 2 episodes is just precious 100% pure noble Arthur.
6) I always forget this S1 thing where they were trying to pair up Arthur with Morgana and Merlin with Gwen but I deeply underestimated how much I like Gwen.
7) Why do I love this show so much when it's SO BAD
8) I FORGOT ABOUT MERLIN MOANING ARTHUR'S NAME IN BED seriously how did Colin Morgan shoot this with a straight face
9) Every word Merlin literally moans from this bed could be said in another context
10) Did this guard seriously not recognize Gwen, like five people work in this castle
11) Uther you GIANT LIAR. ASH is so extra in this role and I really adore him
12) UGH THESE BOYS

Anyway, that's my night.